You probably remember me telling you how much I don’t like storms two weeks ago. It seems to be about the frequency of storms in New Mexico. The difference is there’s no storm. Just a low front coming through and some wind with it. I’ve been more sensitive to things since Wednesday, and Wesley has been down in the dumps emotionally the last couple days with yesterday being the worst. Today I woke up in my angry storm emotional state where I hate everything. I couldn’t do the laundry because I was too mad at the spin dryer, and was likely going to break it if I tried to continue.
We needed some things from Walmart so we had to go down and Almagordo and Wesley volunteered to be the one who waited in line at Walmart for an hour to get in. Just be really thankful if your governor doesn’t do stupid things like in New Mexico where they limit the number of people in Walmart to 75. I ran all the other errands and did some l perceiving south of Alamogordo (which felt tons better than last time) while Wesley was at Walmart and then we headed back home. On the way back home we had the windows down and were comfortable in T-shirts and pants until we hit the front, and the air dropped about 15° in temperature within a mile, the humidity increased, and soon after that the symptoms that we were feeling at the ranch came back. I had tightness in my chest and my mid back hurt. It feels like an Iowa cool night tonight. Yuck!
We talked with our mentor, and he said that all of this is due to the storm and that there’s likely some mystery toxin (MT) that’s adding to the problem. The one thing I appreciate about him is that he really encourages us to stay put and to weather the storms instead of running when it feels bad. A lot of mold avoiders get into a habit of bolting every time it doesn’t feel good and they never learn the skills needed to live in life because the weather never stops and no location feels great 100% of the time. Erik Johnson, the guy who first did mold avoidance, still lives in the Tahoe area where he originally got really sick and manages exposures. November until April is typically a tougher time for mold avoiders because of the increased number of storms and pressure changes. It’s really common to have depression and suicidal thoughts with this particular toxin. It makes me wonder how many people who think they have seasonal affective disorder actually have problems with MT. As I’ve watched the terrible emotional effects of MT on me, I’m really thankful for the people who have worked for me and put up with the roller coaster of my emotions. I’m sure that’s part of why people didn’t stick bc I never got out of mold and brain fog, lack of motivation and focus, and mold rage were very real things in my life. Even as a kid and teen I was alot like a lot stick of dynamite waiting to blow, and Lord help the one I blew up at. The good news is that Wes and I talked through how to weather storms better after I got back from my walk I had to take to not kill the spin dryer. I helped the wind kill the drying rack last storm so that’s not a stretch.
I really wanted to go into town to take showers tonight. We got the OK for that, and I must say that a nice warm shower was exactly what I needed. I felt so, so much better afterwards. Usually during storms we do take more showers because that’s usually when we retreat to the hotel. I think during the next couple days we’ll probably need to take at least one shower per day. Thankfully we have a place now where we can go take showers.